Today is Ezhie’s 27th birthday . Time flies so fast and this makes me excited! God may not give everything that we’re wishing for right now, but I know He’ll give us what we deserve or even more than that at the right time.

Ezhie has been a great influence in my life. Since we started this journey together, we changed from two individuals into a couple who blend well together. Despite our differences, I am very positive that we can surpass every trial we may meet along the way.

It is true that the strength of the relationship does not depend on how long it has been standing. What contributes a lot in it is the determination of the two persons involved to fight for love and to hang on no matter how hard it is. Our friends who know how we started are really amazed by how we handled our relationship, thinking we are a perfect couple. However, our relationship is not perfect BUT we managed to survive despite the imperfection. We’ve had so many problems before.. they were so grave that I thought we had to end it already. But whenever one of us feels like giving up, the other one fights for us so we always find a way to give it another shot.

Ezhie taught me a lot of things and I can say that I really changed a lot since the first day we had “us”. He taught me how to value life and the people around me who support me in every step of the way. He also showed me how to be contented yet never stop dreaming and fighting for that dream. If I were to enumerate everything he has influenced in my life, I might run out of words.. I am really grateful for having him as my partner.

Many people wouldn’t understand why I was able to hold on to our relationship for almost seven years now despite the problems, differences and the distance between us. I too, have no idea why. All I know and am very certain of is this feeling that binds us.. no matter how far he is from me.. no matter how different our ideals and beliefs may be..

I don’t want to think about this but I know it may happen.. If in case we decided to separate ways, I would still be very thankful for spending a huge fraction of my life with Ezhie..

But I believe that wouldn’t happen because we won’t let it.. and I know God wouldn’t let it too..

Happy birthday to the man I love..

BTW, here is something I made for him. I kinda rushed it..

We went to the mall this evening. It’s been months since I last had shopping with Papa. I was actually happy to see him appreciate the clothes we bought and the food we ate.

I know a part of him wants to stay but a part of him doesn’t – and this part is pride and arrogance. Life is hard and the best things in life cannot be achieved in just a snap. I know that if we accept him now without him realizing his faults, he wouldn’t learn his lesson and still wouldn’t value life and go back to the life he wants – a miserable life.

If there is only one person out there who can talk to him and make him realize the things he can’t see, please talk to him! I know that God is the best way to this, but how can this happen if he doesn’t even seek for His help, and worse, if he doesn’t know his faults he should repent for?

Papa came home.. I didn’t know if I had to be happy because he visited maybe because I knew the reason why he came here. Anyway, it’s been more than three months since he left home or should I say when I asked him to leave us. Every night, Mama and I are praying that he would find reasons to repent and start a life again with us, his family. However, a quarter of the year has already passed yet, no realization happened. It was truly heartbreaking.

I don’t really feel bad about the things happening to our family now. Maybe it’s because I know that Kuya and I are mature enough to handle the situation we are in right now. Both of us do not believe in the concept of “stay together for the kids”; maybe because, we’re no longer kids in the first place.

I can’t remember exactly how long it has been this way in our family. I just know that this started when we are slowly doing better with our finances as compared with what we have when we were younger.

I believe that everything that happens to us is meant to teach us a lesson and make us a stronger and better individual. God really has ways to teach us and this could sometimes hurt us and lead us to the wrong direction. I believe that no one is born bad. It is just a challenge to discover the goodness in you. Or maybe sometimes, your being bad is just a result of the many things that happened in your life.

I just consider everything as a training.. that when I’d be the one to build my own family, I will already know some of the things that I should and shouldn’t do..

Sometimes I feel that this freelance business I’m doing is not really for me. Since the 3rd Quarter PR update was a bit too harsh for me, I think I lost a lot this month. I also got banned in Blogsvertise today and only had one job from PayuToblog.

It’s gonna be August in Friday. Just one more month and I’d be a year older. I only have one birthday wish this year and that is to finally have my 476 visa for Australia approved. I’ve been staying here at home for almost four months now and with all what’s happening to me here at home, I just wish I could already start my career so I can save enough to help Kuya have our new house built. With the worse financial situation in the Philippines right now, I am getting more and more convinced that this place is no good to establish a good career with a rewarding compensation.

If I already have the visa, I can already start earning.. for mama and for Eze and I.. We already have plans to settle and we won’t be a step closer to our plans if I get stuck here in the country.

Honestly, I feel so bad with all the things that’s happening to me right now. If there is only one thing that makes me smile everyday, it’s the thought that someone wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Although he really is very far from me, we’re still positive that everything is gonna be fine and in the next two years, we’ll have the life we wanted.. and that is the life we will live with our own family.

Oh, I just wish that August would be a better month for this venture and I wish to receive my birthday present soon!

I often ask myself, why the people I love are the ones who can’t appreciate the things I do? I can say that I’m trying really hard to show them how much I care, I have done a lot of sacrifices but sometimes they don’t even make me feel they appreciate me..

Appreciation - this is all I want to receive from them. But unfortunately, life is so hard to understand.. And those people I care for the most are those who can’t understand me.

When I do something for these people, I’m not waiting for anything in return. In fact, I feel so happy whenever I can make people smile and ease their burdens. But what hurts me the most is that when I unintentionally did something that displeases them, they would say hurtful things as if I never did anything good at all..

God will never give everything to me, I know. And this is for me to appreciate those that I have and to treasure them while they are here with me. Because when they’re gone, there’s no more second chances and all that I can do is regret that I failed to maximize the time I had them..

But not everyone knows this.. that’s why they act as if I’ll stay forever..