Seven years ago, the Tarlac State University Supreme Student Council or the TSU-SSC organized the Student Leaders’ Summit in Pampanga Agricultural College (PAC) in Magalang, Pampanga. It took us a lot of pleases and begging before Mama permitted me to attend the event. Even though I was still in high school then, as the Business Manager of the council, I needed to attend the said event. Eze, was also a part of the council, he was the treasurer.. and that was the reason why Mama hesitated to permit me. Haha

The 24th of November of 2001 is not just about the Summit but also about me and Eze.. That day, seven years ago, was the day when I finally became true to myself and accepted him to be my boyfriend.

Sadly, our anniversary this year is a bit different because I wasn’t even sure if it’s still worth celebrating. It was evident in this blog that these past few weeks were really shaky for the two of us. We have so many problems, particularly the distance, communication, my insecurities and ideals that make our situation worse. I don’t want to write here the detailed reasons behind our problems. The bottom line here is just that I thought this day would be the end of our relationship.

I know it was crazy (like all the other girls who are hoping to resolve their relationship problems) that while feeling hopeless and that this relationship is about to end, at the back of my mind, I’m still wishing that everything will be settled and we could still manage this long distance relationship until we’re together again.

I already had nothing to do at around 11 pm on the night of the 23rd. But still, I waited for the clock to hit 12 am. He greeted me at 12:30 am, the exact time when we became “us”. I was touched, yes; yet still hurt. I replied to his message, but not with an anniversary greeting. I know it wouldn’t be fair to myself if I greet him even though I know how deeply hurt I still am. I’m drowning with my issues..

Trackback: November 23, his mom texted me and asked me if we could meet the next day, go out and spend time together. Having difficulties saying no, I agreed to meet up with her. Morning came and I kept myself busy with all my work. Then 3 pm arrived and it’s time to meet up with Tita in the mall. When I arrived, they were already waiting because I came in late for I had to finish my work first before leaving home. Then she handed me a paper bag that contains two bouquets, one with two dozens and one with seven roses. (sorry for the resolution. I didn’t take the pictures immediately so they are no longer fresh in the pictures) Actually, I knew Eze would give me flowers. I just felt it. But at the moment Tita handed me the flowers, I dunno if I was happy he gave me lots of them or still, hurt.

We had a brief conversation because I didn’t want to share. I just want to keep things to myself. It’s not that I don’t trust her. I just think that would be another torture. After about an hour and a half, Tita and I parted and headed home.

I really can’t believe that I’ve become numb. Before, everything that he gives me means so much to me. But then, I felt nothing. I really love flowers and I appreciate them, yes. I just think that maybe if we were in good terms, he wouldn’t think of giving me flowers.. (he’s not that thoughtful, huh?!) And if he was the one who handed me the bouquet, we would be able to talk more, which is what we really need.

To cut the story short, before the day ended, we finally talked. This time, no more deadlines. Our conversation was full of emotions yet calm and open.. Changes – I’m looking forward to these because if I don’t see them, maybe it just proves that we’re just wasting our time. But still, I’m hoping we could fix things, like what he said. I also hope we could communicate more because I think that is where all our problems originated from. Finally, before his day ended, I greeted him a Happy Anniversary.. I undoubtedly love him.. SIGH!

Now, I treasure the flowers more! LoLz.. I think that’s pretty obvious.

I dunno how this post will feel like. Sorry.

Today is Ezhie’s 27th birthday . Time flies so fast and this makes me excited! God may not give everything that we’re wishing for right now, but I know He’ll give us what we deserve or even more than that at the right time.

Ezhie has been a great influence in my life. Since we started this journey together, we changed from two individuals into a couple who blend well together. Despite our differences, I am very positive that we can surpass every trial we may meet along the way.

It is true that the strength of the relationship does not depend on how long it has been standing. What contributes a lot in it is the determination of the two persons involved to fight for love and to hang on no matter how hard it is. Our friends who know how we started are really amazed by how we handled our relationship, thinking we are a perfect couple. However, our relationship is not perfect BUT we managed to survive despite the imperfection. We’ve had so many problems before.. they were so grave that I thought we had to end it already. But whenever one of us feels like giving up, the other one fights for us so we always find a way to give it another shot.

Ezhie taught me a lot of things and I can say that I really changed a lot since the first day we had “us”. He taught me how to value life and the people around me who support me in every step of the way. He also showed me how to be contented yet never stop dreaming and fighting for that dream. If I were to enumerate everything he has influenced in my life, I might run out of words.. I am really grateful for having him as my partner.

Many people wouldn’t understand why I was able to hold on to our relationship for almost seven years now despite the problems, differences and the distance between us. I too, have no idea why. All I know and am very certain of is this feeling that binds us.. no matter how far he is from me.. no matter how different our ideals and beliefs may be..

I don’t want to think about this but I know it may happen.. If in case we decided to separate ways, I would still be very thankful for spending a huge fraction of my life with Ezhie..

But I believe that wouldn’t happen because we won’t let it.. and I know God wouldn’t let it too..

Happy birthday to the man I love..

BTW, here is something I made for him. I kinda rushed it..

Saw this picture and I just felt it’s worth publishing here in my blog. This picture made me miss Eze again. This was taken in our Staffhouse in Cavite a few days before he went back to Jeddah. I really miss him.

Both my grandfathers are already in heaven. I actually never felt how it is to be loved by a lolo because papa’s tatay died about four decades ago and mama’s tatang died in 2006. Tatang lived in a barrio from where we live so we hardly spent time together when he was still alive.

When Eze and I started, I saw how someone could love his grandfather so much. He is definitely a Lolo’s boy! I am just one of the many people who witness how he loves Lolo. I believe that he is also Lolo’s favorite because he is very polite, intelligent, diligent and handsome. (haha he’s my boyfriend remember?!) Lolo even gave him a name when he was a kid that he still uses to address Eze. “DANTE” - that is Eze for Lolo.

Today is Lolo’s 80th birthday - really worth for a celebration. Unfortunately, Eze was not be able to attend because he is in Jeddah. So as his girlfriend, I played as his substitute. Eze really wanted to give Lolo a memorable birthday so he asked me to buy cakes, balloons and ice cream, plus a gift of course! Here is the gift I bought worn by the man my boyfriend looked up to all his life.

Happiness overflowed in my heart when I saw the smile on his face the moment he saw the present. I don’t know if it’s because I never had the chance to do the same thing for Tatang or Tatay or because I know that Eze would really be happy to see Lolo with the smile brought about by the gift we gave him.

I really can say that I love Lolo not just because he loves my boyfriend so much but also because I can see how appreciative he is in everything that his grandchildren give him. He has this distinct love for all his children and grandchildren. Even at the age of 80, he touches a lot of lives like mine and Eze’s.